A Letter
Here is a letter I just wrote to my health insurance provider, Tonik. (A subsidiary of Blue Cross aiming at the post-college demographic)
From: pfrance@gmail.com
Date: June 13, 2007 10:48:21 PM GMT+04:00
To: tonikhealth@wellpoint.com
To Whom It Concerns,
As a member of Tonik for over a year now, I would like to inform you of some concerns that I have come to have with your program.
I understand that Tonik sells policies aimed to a specific demographic; namely, recent college graduates - many of whom who have probably recently become ineligible for their parents' policy - who are looking for a rather basic policy that they can afford. In that, you have certainly succeeded; I, after all, thought it reasonable enough to subscribe.
My concern, however, is that you have have taken the advice of your marketing advisors too far. In order to believe that you have mounted an effective marketing campaign and have constructed a useful product image you would have to believe the following things:
1) People of my demographic appeal to tastelessly colored neon backgrounds on web-pages.
2) Condescending to your clients by titling the booklet containing the actual terms of the policy 'the fine print' is an important aspect of your product image. (Apparently proper punctuation - including capital letters - is, like, so unhip!)
3) Your target demographic is more likely to respond to verbal marketing that uses the word 'like' gratuitously thrown into sentences.
I recently received an email from your company whose subject line read 'Do we, like, rock your world?'
4) Recent college graduates like myself respond better to hackneyed movie-speak and vacuous phrases than to substantive communication. (see above)
5) Your clients are more likely to respond to a survey if you couch the request in oh-so-punk-rock terms of 'selling out.' 'Have we sold out by getting so popular?' your latest email seems to ask, 'let us know!'
I realize that all of this is part and parcel of a non-formal image that you are trying to project to potential clients who may feel overwhelmed by the daunting challenge of selecting their first health insurance policy. And I am sure you have invested a fair amount of money in market surveys, case studies, and focus groups. And yet... and yet, I can't help but believe that your interests would be better served by finding an image less condescending and ridiculous. Surely you can follow some other, more respectful path while still emphasizing informality.
Respectfully,
Peter France
What prompted this unsolicited marketing advice? Well, their last email sorta sent me over the edge. Take a gander (looking especially at the subject line):
